I'm Back!!

EWW, how Twilight Zone! Maybe some of you thought I didn't make it through the cancer, because I never finished my blog. And now here I am blogging.. Kinda like I'm back from the dead... SPOOKY.. No, I just got lazy. I know, how dare I! Well, I'm sorry, I really am. For those of you that haven't heard, I AM IN REMISSION!! They told me some time ago, I can't remember. I now have to go in and have my blood work & tests done every 3months. I'm just a little nervous to go in, just don't want to hear any bad news. Maybe I'll just plug my ears.. I'm doing rather well, I'm just tired. I'm still a bit scatter brained. Now I can't blame it on the chemo.. Instead of saying "I've got cancer" (which some of you may have heard me say, once or twice...) I say, "I HAD cancer" it doesn't work as well. I can't get out of things like I used to be able to with the 1st phrase. It's all good though. I must tell you how truly blessed I am, my family & friends, neighbors & employers, were all so good to me. All of the prayers, kind words, thoughts, smiles, food, gifts, visits, you name it, all of it got me through. I have learned alot about many of you, and about my self. My life seems to be falling into order. My family is doing so well. Meggen is a senior this year @ Spanish Fork High. WOW!! And a National Honors student at that! (I don't know where she got that from..) She's going to Home Coming next Saturday. She's excited for that. She was just selected to be in the All State Choir in October. They only pick so many students to be in it each year. She was 1 of 12 at her school. (I'm excited because I too was in All State Choir, oh so many years ago...) She can't wait to attend BYU next Fall. She wants to be a Forensic Anthropologist. I don't even know how to spell it! Thomas & Taylor are now living with us full time!! Thomas is in 6th grade & Taylor is in 4th. They go to Brockbank Elementary. Thomas said the other day how much he loved his school. He said even better than the others he had gone to. He has made several friends. Taylor loves it too. She has a ton of friends in the neighborhood that she goes to school with. You should have heard all of the little girl squeals when we told them Taylor would be here all of the time!! I'm able to leave work & be home for the kids after school. They seem to enjoy that. Andy just got a new job, Starts on Tuesday. He's so excited. It's going to be a great change. He gets to learn all sorts of new things. They are sending him to Az for training in a couple of weeks. I'm so proud of him. We've all grown so much! We have family prayer, scripture study, family night and we even started going to church again!! Andy said the other night that he wants us to be an eternal family, that he wants to take me to the temple. I'm so happy. I know none of this would have come about if, I , if we, didn't go through the trial that we did. We are strong, you are strong! Thank you for being apart of my life, apart of all of this. Thank you for being here. I love you all! I'll check in from time to time. Please keep me posted too. Love you , Tona, Poison Girl!!!

Is it over??

Ok, ok, so I slacked off! I got older, then summer began..Plus I figured all of you were getting pretty bored with my weekly blogs. I mean, really, same thing week after week after week.. There's only so much porcelain talk one person can handle!
Thanks for your posts! You all ROCK! Kira & Angela, you're right, I haven't been taking this whole blogging thing seriously lately. Please find it in your hearts to forgive me.. Susan, hell no, I'm not going to keep blogging, I'm running out of clever things to say. I don't know we'll see. Midgee, I talk to you every day or so... you know wuts up. xo Celest I just posted on your blog, yours is so COOL!! Lacey, I'm sorry to have worried you. I'm still alive!! Ta Da!! Amber I'm glad you're still stalking! How's the pregnancy this go around? xo Jenny, so your house is now 67 degrees, where's my strawberry covered treats? LOL Ang, I can't wait for our facials! That will be such a treat! Thanks to all of you for your concern & uplifting words. Thanks for blogging..
Ok so my update! It's been awhile since I've been on this blog. I was pretending that I no longer had cancer, that I was healthy & active & that my treatments were over. Well guess what? When I came back to reality, just a moment or so ago, I realized.... that this Thursday, June 12th, 2008 might be my last day of CHEMOTHERAPY!!!! No more poison! No more dreaded weekends! I'll give you the break down. I have that one last treatment, then, I'll have a bit of a break, have some more tests & then call it good on the 10th of July! So there's still a bit of a waiting game going on in my head, messing with my emotions! But, all in all, life is good. I've been having a case of the "uglies" again. I know, boo hoo! I agree, I just can't seem to get over it completely. I'll see someone and think, Man, I wish I looked like that! (yes some of you know who & what I mean) then I think, hmmm would I give up what I have to be like that? NO! I wouldn't, but I'd like to look in the mirror & like what I see. I thought about keeping my hair short, it's easy & I've had a lot of people tell me it makes me look younger & most importantly, THINNER! But then I see long, pretty hair & I think, I can't wait to grow my hair out!! UGGGG!!! Who knows. I'm trying not to be so negative about myself. I know it's not healthy. My hubby thinks I'm pretty, he didn't say beautiful, but I'll take pretty. My kids look up to me (for the most part) I think I'm a pretty good example to them. (I'm doing the healthy self talk, in case you were wondering) and I've got wonderful friends & family all around me, what more could a girl ask for. (besides a 24inch waist)
Week before last my family & my sister in law Ang's family went camping, first time this year. It was fun! We figured I could do chemo anywhere. It's just as easy to vomit & be dizzy in the woods as it is at home.. I didn't get sick, just dizzy. Couldn't eat much of the YUMMY camp food though, that was terrible! I did manage to choke down a couple of smores!! We went on a 4.6 mile hike, up to the hot pots!! Yes, I hauled my fat rear end up that trail!! Even Abby, our beloved chub (our dog looks like a seal with legs. So I've heard) made it up & back.. I had to keep telling her she'd get a cookie when we got home.. It seems to keep her motivated! It was fun & it felt great to accomplish that. This last Saturday, Andy & I went on a bike ride. I wanted to see if I'd be able to ride my bike from my house in Spanish Fork, to my work in Springville. Guess what?? I CAN!! We rode all the way there, up main street, over to Andy's folks (for water!! & I had to work on the quilt for the family reunion. I put in my 4 stitches!!! What, I have cancer! DUH!!) Rode up through Mapleton. Then rode to supermarket in SF. Then home!! All together it was over 14 miles!!! WOW!! I'm proud of us! Next week, I'm going to try to go to California to my Nephew's wedding.. We'll see how that pans out!! Momma Lesia, good luck tomorrow! Soon you'll be in the very elite group! THE B'S!!!! You're in my prayers. Thanks for the adorable tea kettle! I love it. Ok, enough is enough!! I'm going to sign off now, I promise I'll check in from time to time. As long as you guys keep reading & posting. I'll for sure let you know what July 10th brings!!! My love goes out to you all!! Keep on Keeping on!!!! love, Poison Girl!!!

LATE AGAIN!! RATS!!

Well hello my fellow bloggers!! Aren't you all so proud of yourselves for learning or already knowing how to do this?? Ang M. I noticed that you must have figured out how to find your pass word & that you even posted a picture! You ROCK! I want to give my shout outs 1st!! I love reading all of the comments from everyone! It makes my WEEK! I'll go down the line.. Lace, thanks for blogging & for your prayers! I love ya! Karie, thanks for the mothers day & birthday "happies" I think you, my dear, are hilarious! I hope you had a GR8 Mums day as well.. Amber, I'm so sorry that Scott's not going to be there for Krystal!! Wut a numb nut!! Tell her we're proud of her! & thanks for the "happy bday" I love you too, keep on stalking on Sundays! Kira, hey girl!! To answer your question, it depends on the week!! It seems like its a LONG 3 months, however, looking back, it really has gone by quickly. And it's almost OVER! Midgee, well,well,well.. Yes I do agree that our River Dancing could take us to places we've never seen before, such as the insane asylum!! If we have DRT as our groupie, we're in serious trouble!! He'd tell us to grow up & act our age!! I WON'T grow up, I WON'T, I WON'T!! (sorry DrT if you're reading this.. Do I still have a job??) Thanks for the bday stuff! You're my hero xo! Celest, chicky! I hope you got my text on your Bday!! Hope it was wonderful! We really need to catch up!! Keep me informed! love ya! Jan G. You CRACK ME UP!! It was good seeing you today! You too are such a strong lady! I love your guts!! Don't shave your head just yet... I only have a month to go, so far we've both still got some hair!! Love you "honey love"..George!! hey neighbor, I think Emily is so cute!! We are quite the Frisbee champions!! We'll have to invite you to the Frisbee World Playoffs, when we get there. She doesn't seem to be "as" apprehensive about Abby the Dog.. Even Tommy played with us for a minute, while Abby laid close by.. That license plate was cool, poor thing doesn't know how to spell "UTONA" though...You & Bishop & the kids are so AWESOME!! We love you guys!! ANDREA!!! My friend!! Thanks for thinking of me. I think life keeps handing me these "trials" so that someday, I can be as patient & caring as you are.. You taught me so much. Give Claire a love from "auntie Tona" xo And back to ANG M. Facials sound superb!! & lunch is a grand idea, since we'd have no makeup on & we'd scare everyone!! Just let me know what time!!
WHEW!! That was incredible!! I had so many comments to read, it really does lift me up! So, as you know my Bday was last Thursday & yes I'm old!! But it's ok, I'm forgetting so much lately, that I don't even remember how old I really am. I've said 29 and many, many months for so long, that I actually had to sit down and figure it out!! I'm 30 now!! I'm such a LIAR!!! My sister in laws & I went and had a pedicure (my first one ever!!) and out to dinner. We had so much fun, we decided to do something once a month. We all got our calenders out & saved a day until the end of the year!! I'm so happy!! Ok, Thursday's are my "oh woe is me day"!! & it was most definitely a WOE day! I got a lot of happy birthday singers on the messages, and several balloons and treats!! You're all so sweet! Taylor & Thomas called from Idaho & sang a beautiful bday song, it was so cute. I love those little farts!! (the kids, not when you have little farts...) Andy worked late, then he & Meggen went looking for cars. Yup we got her her own car! I just had a hard time sharing my cute VW Bug with her...So anyways, I was alone for almost the entire day. Susan stopped by, I was in the "chamber" Midgee came over. Tara & David Wetzel came by & brought me a book, "If life were easy, it wouldn't be hard" hmm, now there's something to think about!! David read me several pages, about flying ships and marsh mellows, maybe the poison really messed me up.. but I think that's what he read. Oh yeah and being buried in your angel skin, no robes... We're so twisted!! (sorry Tara, I had to write it..) Friday, several more visits to the idol!! And lots of sleeping. I was so looking forward to Saturday. Tara made us some delicious soup & JELLO!! We are so hooked on that stuff!! Thanks guys!! In the later afternoon on Saturday, Andy planted a garden for his dad for an early fathers day ( I watched, rather, I supervised!!) later Susan & Rafe brought us salads, YUMMY!! Sunday, was so GOOD!! It was incredible out side.. We took a long drive to West Mountain & Genola, it was wonderful, so good to get out of the house! We drove around with the sunroof open, I got a little sunburn... First time my lily white skin has seen that much sun this year.. I'm so sorry I didn't blog last night. I was feeling so good, that I forgot I was going through this whole thing.. Well not completely forgot, but good enough that I didn't post until just now! My Aunt Juanita passed away Sunday before last, on Mothers day of all days. She lost her battle with cancer. I want my cousins to know how sorry I am for their loss! I loved her too. I have so many fun memories of her when I was soooo much younger. I'm sorry I couldn't be there for all of you, that I couldn't go to her funeral last week. I hope you understand why. Please know that you're in my prayers..xoxo
I just wanted to tell everyone, sorry if I've forgotten to thank you. And also sorry that I handle this situation the way that I do.. Some of you know what I'm talking about...I've often said I'm not in control of this "problem" I'm going through, so I am in control of my doctor appointments (and so on) I just want you to know that I don't do that to be selfish. I know we all handle this differently. I also know that at the end of the day, you can go on with your life, not looking around the corner to see when it is you're going to be sick, sick, sick!! That you can go out to lunch & eat whatever you want, and that you'll have energy to walk around and play etc. I also know that at the end of the day, I still have cancer (for a bit longer) and that I know I'm going to have 2 or so days of HELL & the other 2 days of trying to get up and be apart of a family. I know that I can't eat whatever I want (however, STRAWBERRY anything is basically all that I want) and that I don't have the energy to clean the house & have my OCD with the counters... or walk around and play like I once did (and will do again) So just know that I love you all, and that I'm not trying to be selfish by keeping some CONTROL over all of this that I'm going through.. It will be over soon, I promise! I'll be back to normal, telling everyone what to do & where to go... Oh wait, I do that now.. But at least I'll have the energy to do it RIGHT!! I love you guys, thanks for caring about me! Thanks for being a part of my life! WE WILL OVERCOME!!! Poison Girl!!! xoxxoxoxo

3 MONTHS DOWN

WOW! HAPPY MOTHERS DAY! I had a really OK week. I guess compared to last week, this week was a breeze! My blood count has finally begun to do what it's supposed to do. The "new" chemo, the aggressive one, well for now I no longer have to take it!!! This week we had Thomas & Taylor, from Wednesday until today. It was nice to have the company on those first 2 days. Meggen came home from school on Friday & I must have fallen asleep in the sitting room. I remember stopping there just to take a break, next thing I know Megg's home from school. My days seem to go like that. Andy & Thomas went paint balling on Saturday morning & Megg had to work. Taylor & I hung out. She kept rubbing my back, when I started to feel sick. I love my family so much, thanks for the support! Nikki, thanks for the sweet, adorable card!! I'll try to read that book.. I have another one of Megg's to read, I just can't stay awake! Sorry to you & Susan, I forgot to call to go walking on Wednesday night.. Susan thanks for the STRAWBERRIES!! Thanks for the blogs Karie, Babe, Angela & Midgee. Ang, I tried the super power thing to get to Pismo, dang it wouldn't work, must be on the blink. Karie I love reading your blogs you're awesome!! Andy, babe, thanks for posting, don't make fun, you really would be lost without me!!! I only tell you what to do for your own good.... Midgee, aren't you so excited that Andy remembered your mom's b-day this week! He better remember mines on the same day!! I love you all! I'll be a year older next time I blog, hope my memory doesn't start slipping. I love you all!! I'll be a year older the next time I blog, hope my memory doesn't start slipping. (just teasing, we all know it's already going!!) love Poison Girl...xoxo

11 weeks!! Down??

Ok, so as you may have noticed, it's not Sunday evening, my normal blogging day... It is however Wednesday morning @ hmmm 12:35 AM!!! UGGGG. Insomnia, AGAIN. First off thanks to all of you for your concern for me. It was amazing how many of you asked if I was "ok" because you checked for my blog & it wasn't there. Thank you, thank you. Not only do I know you care, but that you also "enjoy" my updates. Last week, whew, what a week. Thursday, same old same old. And by same old, I mean, this is getting SO OLD! My worst day, just the norm, slept, offered up my innards to the almighty porcelain idol, slept some more and so on. Friday a little more of Thursdays action. Saturday, just run down. Did manage to clean the kitchen, do the laundry, vacuum & even made the bed.. Dut da da da (imagine the triumphant sound when the super hero arrives!! Ah ha see you know what I'm talking about) Then came SUNDAY, usually a pretty ok day, right? WRONG! It all started around 1:00 AM. Woke up, felt achy, feverish, just OFF! Made it to the bathroom with NO time to spare. My lease, with my food from Saturday, was up!! Tried to go back to sleep, nope, not happening. Went back to idol spot, gave up some more. And morE, and moRE, and mORE, and MORE!! You get the picture. I cried, I prayed, I pleaded! It felt like Thursday was back! You know that saying "kicking BUTT & taking names" well, yes it definitely took every letter of my entire name!! I told Andy, that I was done, that I'm not doing this anymore. That there's no way I can survive this again, over & over! He said "yes there is & YES you will" (usually I hate it when he's right & I'm wrong, however, this time - thanks babe xox) 3 AM came, no change. 4:30, same. Up until 8 AM, I had Andy call DrC for Phenegren (anti nausea, in suppository form - no chance of that coming back UP, just OUT...ewwww erase that mental picture) While Andy talked to DrC, I stayed in the bathroom, wailing (not a whale! Who's calling me fat???) & kicking my feet, kind of looked as if I was throwing a fit (anyone who knows me would know that I do NOT throw fits, just attention getters...)Pharmacy didn't open until 10AM. So being the "no quitter" that I am, I proceeded with my routine. I laid on my bathroom floor with my legs over the tub (I'm too tall for my short bathroom - note to self, next house, lay down in bathroom to see if it's long enough..) I couldn't keep still, very fidgety. My hips hurt from laying on the hard floor. My ribs felt bruised (still do) from the heaving. My throat was on fire! Couldn't even drink my apple juice, it burned. Had to put off taking my regular scheduled Chemo until 11Am. That's when the Phenegren kicked in. I slept & slept. When I woke up I was drenched in sweat. Fever must have broke. Didn't vomit again, but I was exhausted! Around 5:30 PM Meggen started to feel sick. She visited the idol as well. We both stayed home on Monday. Late afternoon I was back to normal - as normal as I can be. Megg slept the entire day. We're guessing that on top of my Chemo sickness, that I also had the FLU! Honestly if I have another one of those days, I'm going to take it up with someone higher!!! I don't know how some people can survive stronger doses of this garbage! Anyone you know of who's gone through this or is going through this, let them know how brave & strong they are. Ok, well it's now 1:21 AM. still not tired but I need to be, have to get up for work in 4 hours.. This blog is LONG, sorry. Thanks again for all of your prayers, and thanks for leaving your comments, they really do pick me up when I'm at my low time!! I love you all!
Kira Joy, I had a STRAWBERRY slushy today from Sonic.... YUMMO!! Tona A.K.A Poison Girl (dut da da da, theme song, remember??) : ) Not sure why my post date reads Tuesday @ 11:31 PM... I'll have to have Andy fix that..

10th Week Down

Hey everyone - well this week was... well it's over! I went to the doctor on Wednesday for my complete blood count. First draw, no good, dehydrated!! 2nd draw, ok. Then I had to wait a while & drink some disgusting sugar concoction, guess my electrolytes are low. Then I had a 3rd & a 4th draw. I was "the human pin cushion". What all this means is.. well it didn't look good, only because my counts aren't moving as fast as the Doc wants, so he increased my Chemo to be more aggressive. I take almost double what I was taking before. I still have my "active days" and my "recovery days". So I went out with Midgee & Rufus to Red Robbin & a movie, (last meal, sort of thing..) Rufus is moving to Alaska for the summer & I'll miss her terribly!! (thanks for the early Bday, I love all of it!!xox) This Thursday was my first day of AGGRESSIVE Chemo!! It was very AGGRESSIVE! I was very much a bathroom fixture! When Andy got home that evening, I couldn't even focus on him, he kept asking me what was wrong. Oh well. Friday morning was pretty much the same as Thursday. Towards the afternoon, I was just dizzy & tired. Saturday was such a pretty day outside again, when Andy got home from work he mowed the lawn, so I sat in the swing in the sunshine. Felt nice, but I didn't feel well enough to pull weeds or sweep up. We tried watching a movie, but I couldn't keep my eyes open. Today, Andy had to work AGAIN and the kids were at their others, so I was missing all of them! I felt pretty normal today. What I've noticed & most of you probably have too, is that I forget ALOT! I ask the same questions over and over, and as soon as the answer is about to be given, I almost remember that I've asked it before, almost. It's driving me nuts.. Oh, the Doc did say that this stronger dose of Chemo might give me the munchies.. He was right, I've wanted to eat & eat, problem is, I still can't get much of any substance down. We found out that Wendy's fast food place now serves STRAWBERRY shakes & that OREO has a Limited Edition of STRAWBERRY Oreo's!! Andy bought me some STRAWBERRY applesauce, Yummy! Well, 10th week down. Tomorrow will be a great day! Susan thanks for the shake!! Tara thanks for the Jello! I read my comments from last week & I just have to say, THANK YOU ALL!! You don't know what it means to me to know that you care enough to want to keep up on this "thing" we're going through. Lacey, I almost forgot to blog tonight, but Andy reminded me & I'm glad because I read your comment, & I don't want you to stay up all night waiting!! xo Jan & Celest it was so good to hear from you girls!! I love you! Celest what's new with you?? Niki, me, STUBBORN??? Well I never!! Teasing, don't be scared. I love you girl. Oh in case any of you were wondering, yes my real name is WonTon Ubangee Rae Fullmer, (thanks for telling everyone Angela xoxox (my SIS)) Ang (sis in law) you're the only retard, I did this WHOLE BLOG, duh!! I love you! Karie I didn't call you, I need to know whats up.. xox Thanks to all of you for your kind words & for thinking of me & my family. I love you all -
Kira L. , thanks for the "Pro" comment, hmm I need to come up with a cool name, like Poison Girl, and my super power can be, projectile vomiting... That's just wrong, I'll keep working on it. Tune in next Sunday for adventures with Poison girl. :) Tona

9th Week DOWN!

Hello :) It's Sunday!! I love Sundays! Thanks everyone for everything again this week! There's really nothing new to say this week, I guess that's good. However, I do want to thank some of you individually - Jenny, thanks for the delicious chocolate covered Strawberries!! I did share them, can you believe it?? It was so good to talk to you & thanks for posting on my blog. Karie, don't feel dumb cause you don't come over. STOP IT! I love talking to you girl! You're as outspoken & sarcastic as I am, I love it!! You are so awesome! I can't figure out the picture thing, I'll call you this week. Momma Leisa - You are one of a kind! I call to check on you (even though I hate the phone) & you still get me! Yummy tato's :) I absolutely love you!! Susan & Nikki it was so fun on our "girls night out" Wednesday. I love hanging with you girls! Who's in charge next time?? Tara thanks for dinner, and for sitting & talking with me. I love our talks. My sis Angela - YOU FINALLY POSTED!! I love you lady!! I miss you. My Mom & Dad came to visit me today!! I haven't seen them since FOREVER!! It felt so wonderful to get a hug from you both. I'm glad you're both feeling better & I hope another motorcycle comes up on KSL in this area so you'll visit... :) Midgee thanks for calling & texting me to make sure I'm still kicking. Love you. Thanks to all of you for your prayers & fasts. I think I'm actually getting used to all this Chemo, I've got it down so I know when & what time of day my BAD times are. I hope I didn't jinx myself.. I'll write a quick update after my blood draw this week. I love you all. Keep smiling, we're almost done!!

8 Weeks Down - 2 MONTHS!

Hi y'all! Wow I can't believe I've conquered 2 MONTHS of Chemo... I can finally see the end. (of chemo, not the "END" :) ) Ok, updates for this weeks course.. Thursday, my bad day!! Could hardly stand being alone that day. I don't know why, but sometimes, as long as there's someone in the room, I feel better. Midgee came over after work because she called to see how I was doing & I broke down in tears. I tried to tell her she didn't need to come over, but she came anyways. Persistent little POOP (I've taught you well..) I'm so glad she came over. Lifted my spirits. Friday I was very off balance & SICK!! Yup, visited the porcelain idol again!! Tara brought us Chili & jello jigglers Yummy. I "rented" that meal, but it sure was tasty going down. Saturday - We went to a baptism, it felt good to be in the chapel. Haven't been to church since before starting Chemo. It was a beautiful day, sun shining, warmth on my face. Made me forget for a minute that WE are all going through this. Susan brought us taco salad & STRAWBERRY ice cream (and mint cookies, but I hid those- I'm not sharing :) )! Normally I can eat salad, but not this time. (makes me so angry, because I never know what I'll be able to stomach) Sunday, no issues, except I'm TIRED. But who isn't. Went to Ang's for a birthday party for the girls. It was good to see Andy's family. Then Andy took me for a drive, not to get rid of me, just to get me out of the house.. I've gotten snappy with a few of you (Megg & Andy) sorry, I'm just tired of being tired & sick of being sick. I complain that laundry isn't done & the kitchen is a mess, then I get mad because I'm cleaning it up.. I know that's frustrating to my family. Just a reminder, I still have O.C.D!! Andy said I should mention besides the Chemo, what happens during all of this. I get a CBC (complete blood count) done ever so often. They're trying to get my red cell count up & my white cell count down. I'm anemic, my immune system is low, my eyelashes are falling out (I haven't lost any hair on my head for 2 weeks now!!) The steroids I'm on make me swollen. The other one for non duplication of my DNA (or something like that) makes my skin crawl!! Basically, I'm sick & tired all the time. We have until middle of June on this course of Chemo. Then we'll see. Thanks for all that you do to keep me positive. I'll catch you up next Sunday. My love to you all, Tona

Thursday the? Don't know the date...

Hi everyone, it's Thursday. 1st day of Chemo this week. I had a "spare" moment & thought I'd read some bloggs.. You guys ROCK! Thanks for all of your support. I love you all. I came down stairs to get some MORE apple juice, can't seem to get enough of that stuff.. Andy just got called to an old folks home, service call. Meggen is studying @ a friends house for ACT's on Saturday & the little kids will be here again on Saturday.. Anyways, I'm getting tired now, but I'll post again on Sunday. Uncle Buddy- you can come visit us anytime you want, you know you're always welcome! (as long as your not sick, but I know you know that) Mom's right, I hate talking on the phone.. Lacey- it's only 90 min from your house...Midgee, I love you! Thanks for the "BFF sick woobie" Karie you're the cutest!! I love your guts out! I get so excited to read your blogs. Kira (daughter of Karie, who also visits DRC & DRT's office) Duh, I know who you are!! I love you girl. And all of you that have sent me emails, your kind words really do wonders!! Mom, I set you up a blogger account, you have no excuse, I know you're reading this... Love you & dad so much..
THANK YOU ALL!! WE WILL OVERCOME!!! Together, xoxoxox Tona

7 Weeks Down

Hi, down another week! Thursday was my bad day - Andy worked & Meggen was in school like usual, but Thomas & Taylor were here for Spring break. Thomas watched movies with me & Taylor kept asking if I was going to be ok? Talked to my mom later in the afternoon. It was good to hear her voice. : ) Friday wasn't the best either, Taylor called Grandpa Fullmer to see if he wanted to take them to lunch @ McDonalds.. (I tried to pay, but he wouldn't take it) when they left I slept & vomited, pretty normal. Susan brought over home made rolls (Taylor's favorite!) & jello (yummy) Georgette brought us pizza & bread sticks - I think Thomas could live off of that!! & a STRAWBERRY shake for me... I know this is going to shock some of you, but, I'm not into chocolate anymore!! It's all about the STRAWBERRY!! Saturday Andy & Megg both worked & Taylor played with the Bishops daughter. Thomas was my hang out buddy again. It was such a sunny day, that we went out in the yard. We pulled some weeds out of the flower bed & herb garden. I got tired & sat in the sun awhile. Thomas pruned the rose bushes. He was such a big help, never complained once. We tried to get the lawn mower out, but between Thomas & myself, we couldn't get it out of the garage. I seem to have lost some of my super hero abilities as well..haha Andy got home & started grilling steaks - smelled good, but there's no way I could have gotten that down. He made me a salad, oddly enough I can keep that down. Nikki brought over homemade Chicken pot pie! Yummy, I was able to eat a piece & it stayed down! And she brought STRAWBERRY icecream.. You guys know me so well.. I felt terrible, because apparently I was told she was bringing dinner for us & I completely forgot!! I blame it on the Chemo!! I'm forgetting a lot of things, which would normally drive me nuts, however, since I can't remember I've forgotten it, it doesn't seem to bother me too badly... I think I wore myself out on Saturday, maybe over did it just a touch.. Sunday's here, not much of an appetite, I'm just so tired... nothing new, I know. I'm having one of those emotional days. Feeling useless, a burden, ugly, swollen & balding! Ugggg I can't wait to be done with all of this. I'm doing the woe is me, sorry. General Conference was good, what I saw of it.. I taped it so I could REALLY watch it when I'm not so dopey & sleepy. So maybe I'll watch it towards the end of June.. LOL Andy is making peach cobbler, because I said it sounded good. Any time I say something sounds good, or that I might be able to eat something, he jumps on it, & poof, it's here! He's been great! He's been my timekeeper on when I take my RX's. He'll call when he's at work & tell me which one to take. I felt really bad this weekend because he's had a cold, yet I still needed his help. That, I think, has been the hardest, because I'm usually the one who takes care of him & the kids.. Like most of us moms. But he assures me that he loves me & he'll take care of me through eternity!! I think I'll hold him to it. Seems like Sunday evening meds are the hardest to stay on time with. We sort of go in to the "whew, we're over another week" mode, yet the week doesn't end until I go to sleep for the night.. So, here I sit & type to let you know what went on this weekend (nothing new) but I'm waiting to take my last dose of Chemo, see we lost track of time again, now I have to wait until 9 PM to take it.. I haven't had a terrible time with my last dose on Sundays (as in I don't worship the porcelain idol as often) I don't PLAN on anything however, because it seems as soon I ASSume I've got a schedule & routine down, it throws me through a loop.. So, we'll just say, I hope I'll be snoozing by 9:30!! Monday morning work comes around very early!! I am still going to work Monday-Wednesday. Wow, I bet you never thought you'd get so many details about my life... that'll teach you.. Log on next Sunday for exciting new details of my life on poison.. Keep smiling. Good night & I love you all, xoxo Tona